I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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