capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
