Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
