What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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