I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize