Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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