You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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