So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
