Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
two words...techno handjob
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
