i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
