So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
