she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
