Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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