also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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