I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
