Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
