the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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