Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I believe in your delicious
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
