I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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