Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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