Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
