I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
