that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
