One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Sext me about skeletons
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
