Will you blow on my dice?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Randomize
