Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
