I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
