Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
