I want to walk on stilts...naked
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
