would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Boobs are out for the taking
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
