porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
