walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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