um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
tell me about the fingering
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
