Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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