O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
