This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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