its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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