me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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