dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
