You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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