The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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