i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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