Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
