New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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