There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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