We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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