I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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