i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
im holly from the hills drunk
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
