dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
barbara walters just said penis...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize