we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
