i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
