I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
