you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
