I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
