You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize