k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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