Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
